The story reeks of déjà heard. You do a special grocery after work just to buy the required ingredients. Finicky as heck, you double check that the boneless shoulder roast weighs 3.5 lbs as dictated, no more, no less. Once home, it’s everybody out of the way cause YOU are cooking. You start by searing the pork while simulteaneously giving hell to a telemarketer. These people call at supper time actually expecting a polite answer? Really?
The tomato paste and seasonings go hop into the pan the moment you slam down the phone. Then on to the crockpot it is, for 8-10 hours of simmering. Since it’s evening, you ask the boyfriend —AKA the early riser— to turn off the crockpot the moment he wakes up.
All night the aromas of sloooooow-cooking piggy float through the house. Tomato sauce, chili, Worcestershire, onion and garlic fill your nose so much so that you wake up feeling as if you ate, and not slept, the night away. You come down, eyes swollen with sleep, bring on the coffee, a woman’s work is never done. You now need to pull apart the pork roast and return it to bathe some more in the barbecue sauce that seems to saturate (forever?) the walls of your home.
There, on the countertop, awaits the hot, foggy crockpot that your boyfriend forgot to close. Instead of 8 hours, your pulled pork has been treated to 13 (!) hours of simmering. And your temper is pretty much boiling over too.
Monsieur defends himself in a desperate crescendo of male uneasiness:
“You never asked me to shut the crockpot…!” followed by
“How was I supposed to remember after a full night’s sleep?”
and the clincher “Anyways, the longer you leave food to cook in a crockpot, the better it is… Right?”
Against all hope, once I added a good cup of water to the nearly-evaporated sauce, it was the bomb. But if I were you, I’d still limit myself to 10 hours max. Don’t rely on my experience. And maybe don’t rely on your boyfriend either?
* Cooking time may vary from one crockpot to another. Your crockpot can be powerful or not. It’s better to check pork after 8 hours, then cook more if needed. Avoid lifting cover before. Every time you peek, you should add 15-20 minutes to cooking time.